Wednesday, September 5, 2012


As I have already stated in my last post that nowadays I’m very much into rabindrasangeet. A few days back I downloaded the song “Khelaghar bandhte legechi”.  Now, I downloaded it obviously because I like it. And I’m listening to it everyday sometimes may be four to five times a day. Every time I listen to it I get mesmerized by the lyrics. Now, for me it is the lyrics of a song which first strikes a chord in my heart.  There is another reason why I like Rabindrasangeet. As it is I’ve always been moved by Tagore’s writings. They definitely leave a profound impact on the mind.
    I personally feel that Tagore has always portrayed feelings with a magical wand. Everyone who has read Tagore would definitely agree that he gave words to feelings very common to us but extremely difficult to express. Now the same thing goes for his songs. They make you think as sometimes you instantly connect with a particular song or maybe a single line and think that it has been actually written for you.
              This particular song I’m talking about is unique in its own way but actually it speaks of something very common. ‘Khelaghar’ or a playhouse is something very dear to everybody’s heart. We all build up khelaghar in our minds. And as we know it, mind travels faster than time.  Each one of us loves  to daydream and many of us do not do that consciously. It just happens because at the end of the day we all dream of happiness, success, love.  But that particular ‘khelaghar’ is very personal. Nobody wants to share it with anybody. We all have a nascent inner self which sometimes wakes up to let us now things we actually love but try to run away from in our everyday life.
       In five minutes time one can view and review one’s future self, something that each one of us actually do. We love to think about our future not in terms of the adversaries which are to be faced, but in terms of happiness which is due.  This song made me feel that since we are leading such a fast life, we should actually try to give a little more time to ourselves to find our very own self which is getting lost and most of us do not even know ourselves properly. We should give some time to build up our own ‘khelaghar’ because very few things in life are priceless.
     So, the song “Khelaghar bandhte legechi, amar moner bhitore…..” will live on to help people drem.

You've gotta be Yourself

              Since last few weeks I'm much more into Rabindrasangeet than I was ever before. Well, that does not mean I'm listening to it all the time, actually I'm hardly doing so to tell the truth. But yes, I am listening to a few songs again and again. Now, as I proclaim frankly, I'm not at all a music-lover in the true sense of the term. I love music in my own way. Does loving something means you have to follow the path which other people do to profess their love? No, I'm staunchly against that. 
                 Music for me is something to tune into when I want to listen to it, not a stress-buster. Actually I have never tried to use it in that sense. When I'm stressed out, I just sit like that doing nothing or maybe pacing up and down the room or follow the dictum "walk when you talk". I used to take lessons in music since my early childhood, 4yrs I think but never found any interest in practicing so obviously it could not take me anywhere. I went there just to listen to my teacher's mesmerizing voice and to talk to my fellow companions.Then as time would have it, I stopped taking lessons because my parents found it useless and it was really so. But, my mother always did try to coax me into pursuing it again as she badly wanted her daughter to sing. Alas, I being the adamant daughter always wanted to do things I found interesting which to tell the truth meant doing nothing.
                     Gradually as I grew up, I found some songs touching a different note in my heart and I started listening to them again and again. Now, this is exactly what I do when I like a particular song. I listen to it for quite a few days over and over again, get bored an then forget it. After few days or maybe months, I am suddenly remembered of that song or maybe a particular line which goes with my the then situation and I again get back to it.
                   This is how I am and this is how I show my love for music. Sometimes it is just sound to me and sometimes I spend a whole day humming a particular tune or scribbling a particular line from a song that rules my heart at that time. I sometimes used to feel that maybe I'm not worthy enough to get the title of music-lover but then it occurred to me that there is no harm in showing love in your own way since as history goes, love has never followed a common path. It has always been unique in its own way. Being yourself is always not that bad, right?

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Be Happy...

      Days go by and I find myself becoming more and more vulnerable. I have become a troubled soul, someone who is afraid of every single thing in life especially happiness. Whenever I'm happy, instead of cherishing the moment I become perturbed and try to cling onto it as long as possible before it goes away. I'm always worried that happiness will not last long but then nothing lasts long. Everything in this world is momentary and everchanging. And I know all these very well since they have been a part of our general education since birth.
               But in recent times I have changed. I have lost the confidence to face the reality, lost the will power to do something new. A different kind of nervousness, fear grasp me whenever I try to undertake any new project. If something goes wrong, may be a little quarrel with a friend, I lose my mental stability until and unless everything comes back to the normal position. And even if it does I don't feel that, always it seems to me that the crack is very much there but most of the time I'm wrong. 
                 I just hope I become strong again, and enjoy the life as it comes instead of being afraid of it. Life is full of colours and it comes only once so it is better i buck up, shed my fears, inhibitions and get ready to take on life and enjoy.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

The bliss of solitude....

It has been ages since I've stopped living for and with myself. But I have not done that consciously. As far as I remember I've always loved being with myself. No, I'm not creative or talented enough to utilize my solitude and create any sort of masterpiece but I always liked to while away my time doing nothing or rather talking to myself and earn epithets like 'mad' and 'psycho'. School had always provided me the time to be with myself. I had loads of friends but their influence neither changed my inner self nor did it make me very outgoing.
Then a massive change came in life. School was over and it was time to step into the outer world. I joined college. And yes, I found myself changing. I started enjoying my college life, I stated laughing out loud and most importantly I started talking all the time with people around me and not with myself. It made me feel that may be I've always had this 'me' inside sleeping peacefully and never provoked to wake up. Things again took a very different turn as I fell in love. It made me feel ecstatic, special and happy in a very different way but I again started losing myself and this time my 'new self'. I found myself succumbing to the pressure of actually nothing. I changed and stopped laughing and my solitude was not ready to take me back in her arms. Life started to seem very difficult though in reality it was not. Every situation was tough to handle as I did not know how to keep everybody satisfied and most importantly how to keep my own self happy.
Now, since college is predictably almost over and I'm again standing on a threshold of life I want to find my own self. I want to be happy, laugh out loud and also enjoy being with myself. It'll be stupid to let go of any of these things as each of them has a 'me' in it. I'm made up of all these and I want to treasure my varied traits. After penning down my inner contradictions, I'm feeling extremely relaxed and happy. Yes, I'm happy with my life and everything that I have. And I really want to thank all the wonderful people who have made my life so very colourful...